


Coming Undone

by Xenjn



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Body Horror, F/F, Panic Attacks, cracked gem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2015-08-04
Packaged: 2018-04-13 00:16:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4500396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xenjn/pseuds/Xenjn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Shouldn’t we get Steven for this?”</p><p>She’s been fighting the urge to pace, fingers wringing together nervously and Garnet is nothing if not cool and collected, the only indication that something may be terribly, horrifyingly wrong is the way her cheek twitches rapidly, the way her shoulders seem to quake and stiffen. The way her voice seems, almost disjointed.</p><p>“No.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coming Undone

**Author's Note:**

> Slight trigger warning for body horror
> 
> Written for a Pearlnet prompt “You're the only one I trust to do this.” 
> 
> Find me on tumblr! http://xenwrites.tumblr.com

“Shouldn’t we get Steven for this?”

She’s been fighting the urge to pace, fingers wringing together nervously and Garnet is nothing if not cool and collected, the only indication that something may be terribly, horrifyingly wrong is the way her cheek twitches rapidly, the way her shoulders seem to quake and stiffen. The way her voice seems, almost disjointed.

“No.”

“What about Amethyst? Surely she-”

“ _No_. There’s no need to concern them.” Her shoulders stiffen again, cheek spasms and Pearl watches with barely concealed panic as Garnet slowly, slowly lowers herself onto the stone, behind her the bubbling pool of lava glows brightly in the darkness, outlining her in orange and reds. 

“But-”

“Pearl, I need _you_ to do this. You’re the only one I _trust_ to do this.”

Her fingers still, breath catching in her throat as the word trust seems to echo off the stone walls, as the bubbles and the gems contained within them seem to reflect the slow steps she takes closer. She cannot panic. Garnet needs her, Garnet _trusts_ her and she will _not_ fail that trust, under any circumstances.

Pearl’s next breath is measured, calm, eyes narrowed and determined and when she sits on her knees before Garnet, she sees herself in those dark lenses, sees the hues of orange light across her face. Her voice is strong, sure. “Alright. Show me your gems.”

Garnet’s cheek spasms again, fingers clenching against her thighs and when she opens her mouth to speak the words are more gasp than sound. Her head twitches, neck turning so quickly that Pearl can’t help but flinch when she hears the joints of Garnet’s human construct pop in complaint.

She fights, _fights_ , not to let dread consume her. She keeps her voice steady. 

“Garnet, show me your gems, _now_.”

Strong hands attempt to rise, wrists beginning to twist before they fall back lifeless. “I….can’t. I can’t…..move….” Pearl reaches out instantly, takes those hands in her own, feels the spasms of muscle as she turns Garnet’s wrists, and her gasp of horror is so loud it echos across the chamber.

The first thought that strikes her, errant underneath the slow scream of panic sounding in her mind, is that her control feels to her like Garnet’s gems, with each passing instant the cracks become deeper, wider, stretching across her frame of mind and soon she too will be shattered entirely-

No. _No._ She must not think in those terms, she is the only one Garnet trusts with this. The only one. “O-Oh. We…we have to get you to the fountain immediately! I don’t think I-”

“T-There’s no TIME!”

Sweat lingers on her brow, but the feel of it is ice against her skin as she squeezes the hands in hers, places them on her lap, fighting the urge to rush for Steven and instead hears the quiet hum of her gem as she reaches for the vial kept within, feels it’s cool glass surface against her stiffened fingers, barely managing to keep the dexterity to pull away the rose shaped stopper. 

“A-Alright. I hope…I sincerely hope I have enough. If not…if not we’ll _have_ to wake Steven, or get you to the fountain.”

She speaks just to fill the stretching silence, just to drown the low, persistent shrieking that echos through her thoughts. Her hand reaches for one of Garnet’s, her fingers brushing across her palm before it’s pulling away suddenly. 

Pearl’s head snaps up in alarm, but Garnet is shaking her head rapidly before she can speak. “N-N-No.” Her stomach lurches. “No?! What do you mean _no_!? Garnet I have to-” 

The twitching in her cheek has migrated, the whole half of her face twisting and clenching and for once Pearl is grateful for the glasses, grateful she cannot see the emotions in Garnet’s eyes. “N-Not…Not…that one….” Her other wrist spasms as it rises, fingers limp and lifeless. “S-Sapphires…first…”

Pearl fights a gasp of surprise as Sapphires voice sounds out from Garnet’s lips. “ _What_? Don’t be… _Your_ gem is cracked wor-” Garnet’s head shifts, shoulders quaking and Ruby’s voice underlines her words. “P-Pearl, _please_!”

She feels another crack stretching across her control, sees, for a split second the memory of pink curls and the fires of battle and remembers what it is to be willing to sacrifice life and limb, beyond logic or reason for the one that she loves and she’s reaching out and taking Garnet’s wrist in hand, holding the vial over Sapphire’s gem. 

The wrist twitches, seems to be attempting to draw back but Pearl grips tight enough to bruise, eyes narrowed and determined and stubborn to her last. “Be still.”

Pearl chews her lower lip between her teeth, does not breathe as she brings the gem in closer, eyes narrowed as she tips the vial, as one of the few precious drops falls exactly in the center of the crack. That center seems to close instantly, but only that part, the breaks around the edges continue to expand as she presses another drop onto the gem, and another.

She does not allow herself to look up, as the noises that leave Garnet’s lips become more disjointed and pained, does not allow the tears that brim in her eyes to fall, or obscure her vision. Instead she drags her thumb over that cool surface, feels the jagged edges bite into her skin as she lets another drop fall, tries to spread the remnants of Rose’s tears across the crack in it’s entirety.

Too much, she’s using too much and she can feel the water sloshing in the vial, more than half empty and they should’ve gone to the fountain, she should have _carried_ Garnet to the warp pad herself why hadn’t she just-

Another three drops and her thumb is wet with Rose’s tears, the feel of them soothing the slight cuts caused by the jagged edges of the gem and to feel those tears again has her throat clenching, breathing hard and vision blurring but finally, finally Sapphire’s gem is…mostly restored. Some cracks still linger, thin things, but she cannot waste the rest of the tears on them, if any liquid remains after Ruby’s gem is treated then she can return, and if not…if not they should be able to go to the fountain.

She takes Garnet’s other hand, does not meet those eyes, does not listen for her voice or her breathing or the disjointed sounds that leave her lips and instead swallows down the sob that threatens to rise, the dread climbing up her spine when she finds that Ruby’s gem is nearly shattered.

Her hand trembles, two drops instead of one fall onto the gem, nearly missing and Pearl forces herself to breathe, to shake her head rapidly, she cannot tremble, she cannot falter Ruby is relying on her, Sapphire, Garnet. _Garnet_. 

The idea of losing her too…

It’s too much to bare. Her touch is intimate, slow, trying desperately to fill in all the breaks, each drop of liquid growing smaller with every tilting of the vial and _what if it’s not enough_? Even as the largest crack becomes sealed, even as she works the liquid into the smaller ones, even as the gem in her hand slowly becomes more recognizable, her panic does not cease.

Her racing pulse does not slow, sweat dripping down her neck and soaking into the fabric of her shirt and lips chewed between teeth until they’re raw and she cannot breathe or think, can’t silence the ringing echo of shrieks in her mind.

Pearl tilts the long empty vial over the gem, smoothing over the miniscule cracks that remain but she’s unable to stop or pull back, blinking in surprise when thick, clear drops of liquid fall onto the smoothed surface.

It is only when she feels a cool gem pressed against her wrist does she finally look up, does she finally feel the tears rushing down her cheeks as the silence of the room settles in around her. 

Garnet’s glasses are gone, all three eyes watching her with brows furrowed in concern and the hand in hers pulls away, gently takes the pink vial from her twitching fingers. “Shhhh, Pearl, it’s alright.”

A sob chokes in her throat, another until all that’s leaving her are half gasps, noises that break at the edges as she tries to fill her lungs with air, tries to fight away the tears and when Garnet places a hand on her cheek she can feel the cool, smooth, blessedly smooth surface of a gem against her skin, and when she tilts her head into that touch Garnet leans into her and their kiss is more her whimpering against those thick lips, her hands gripping hard onto strong shoulders to affirm that they’re _there_ , they exist.

She can taste her own tears between them, as Garnet pulls back, wipes them away before their lips meet again, her pulse racing and panic still scratching at the edges of her entire being so she kisses back with more trembling intensity than she had expected, kisses her and barely feels when her body is pushed back, when her head is gently laid onto stone while the spaces between them seem to blur and come undone.

The coldness of her form slowly fades as each brush of Garnet’s fingers across her skin seem to bloom with warmth, a wet tongue in her mouth slowly caressing her own, taking control of the kiss, of her frantic movements and shaping them into something deeper, heavy and hot against her body until her stiffened shoulders are all but smoothed back against stone, thighs wrapped loosely around wide hips as the mouth against her own slowly pulls back, slowly suckling on her battered, chewed lower lip as if to soothe it.

Her breathing has deepened, the shrieking in her mind fading into a dull, throbbing headache as warm, thick lips drag across her neck, over her throat, as strong hands slide over her thighs, her belly, thumbs stroking slow circles into her hips. “Pearl…”

Tears brim to hear that voice whole and stable again. “Are you alright?” The sound that leaves her is more disbelief than anything. “Am _I_ …Are _you_ alright? Your gems…I thought I didn’t have enough…” Her throat tightens, tastes the dread lingering in her belly. “I was sure I’d lose you, that it wouldn’t be enough we must…Oh _oh_ you still have hairline fractures in the gems we must get you to the fountain immead-”

Thick lips press firmly against hers, and she considers protesting for a split second before allowing herself to sink into the kiss, fingers tangling into thick black hair and holding Garnet close, against her body and lips until the racing in her pulse begins to slow again, panting for air she does not need as she pulls back, lays her head against stone and wonders if, perhaps, the remnants of gems that linger above them could see this now, were aware of her turmoil and panic and the fact that they almost lost _Garnet_.

“Pearl.” Two hands press to her cheeks, and she can feel the smooth surface of Garnet’s gems, they’re alright, she’s _alright_ , and when she sniffles tears fall, two thumbs gently wiping them away.

Thick lips brush across her own, and Garnet’s voice is barely a whisper. “ _Thank you_.”


End file.
